A sunny day a few years ago I was at the stable watching my trainer work with a very reactive horse of mine that I have yet to be able to connect with. It may be because we are too much alike… Her name is Aliana (Ali) and she had ditched me more than once. My young friend, Amber, was standing next to me. She quietly asked “are you going to get on her today?” My trainer and I had been working with Ali for a few weeks. She was very calm and I had learned a lot about what I was doing wrong when riding her. It was a good time to get on her again, nevertheless I was very nervous, downright scared, but kind of excited at the same time. I knew Ali would pick up on it in a second. Who knew where this would go. I found myself saying to Amber, “I have found that in life if you wait until there is no fear, you will never do anything.” I know now I said it more to myself than her. With support from my trainer gathered up the courage to get on and had a nice first spring ride on a horse I really love, but had begun to fear riding. It was a breakthrough moment for me and things with Ali have been improving ever since.
Later I thought of how easy it is to let past bad experiences (like literally falling off a horse) influence our current behavior. Sometimes it’s a good thing, but often it just limits us. Instead of giving up on something you really want in life because you hit a roadblock, a formidable obstacle, or are just plain scared to death, find the support you need – a mentor, trainer, a coach – to make it happen. Some things are just too big, important or risky to do on your own.
A new report released by researchers from Harvard and the Wharton Business School states that, though many people are afraid to ask for advice or support and risk looking incompetent, they’ve actually got it backwards! The truth is research shows that people who seek advice or support are likely to be thought of as MORE competent, at least by the people they’re asking. So get the support you need and look really competent at the same time. Both Harvard and the Wharton Business School can’t be wrong!